My Memoirs Essay

I am Jack Merridrew, when I was younger I went to a cathedral school where I was head boy and chapter chorister. My choir and I were being evacuated from England because of the cold war. None of us knew where we were going, but wherever it was it would be safe. I thought it would be a great adventure but I was certainly proved wrong. This is how my adventure began. We were on the aeroplane, which was taking us to our new destination, when the lights began to flicker and the windows began to shake. The next thing I knew we had crashed. I woke up the next morning to find myself lying on a patch of grass with some of the choir boys. I was not injured but just a bit shocked at what had happened. I didn’t have a clue where we were but I knew I would survive somehow. The weather was excruciatingly hot and the air was very moist. I led my choir into the forest where we found lots of fruit. I used not to eat much fruit but I was so hungry I ate as much of it as my stomach would take. There was a stream where we were able to drink from, the water tasted so fresh, the freshest I’ve ever tasted. I heard a loud noise, I didn’t know exactly what it was but it sounded like a horn. My choir and I followed the noise, until we came to a platform, where there were lots of other boys. One of the boys was blowing a conch. I can remember ordering the choir to stand in line so that we looked presentable and authoritative. The boy with the conch introduced himself as Ralph and there was a fat boy with him, wearing rounded spectacles. Simon from my choir fainted like he usually did, because he was an epileptic. The other boys and I had discussed our situation and had established that there were no adults on the island, so I suggested that I should be chief because I was head boy. Ralph decided to have a vote on who should be leader. It should have been me, but they chose Ralph because of that ridiculous conch thing that he had. I was extremely furious and disappointed; Ralph said that my choir could be hunters and obviously I was leader of the hunters. Ralph suggested that we should explore where we were to make sure we were on an island. He told me the fat boy’s real name was Piggy. Piggy wanted to come with us. I laughed and told him to go back to the others. If Piggy had come with us he would have slowed us down. As we were exploring we heard a squealing noise. We ran to see what it was. A pig was tangled in some creepers. I pulled out my knife, ready to cut its throat. Something in me stopped me from killing the pig, maybe it was the thought of the knife going through the flesh or maybe it was because I was too innocent. I didn’t care what the reason was at the time. Ralph and Simon were looking at me I felt ashamed and angry, I vowed to myself that I would kill it next time. When we were certain that we were on an island, we agreed to build a signal fire on the top of the mountain so we could be rescued. When we were still down on the platform a littulin said that there was some kind of â€Å"beastie† on the island. I knew that he was just afraid because he was away from home. I wanted everyone to know that I was strong so I promised to kill the beast if I saw it. We managed to get loads of leaves and bits of wood for a fire; but we had no matches to light a fire. I snatched Piggy’s glasses and managed to shine the light through them causing a bit of smoke. I blew it a bit and it lit the leaves and sticks. In minutes the fire got out of control and it swept down the side of the mountain. After the fire some of the littulins had noticed the boy with the birth mark on his face was missing. We came to the conclusion that he was killed during the fire. I didn’t particularly care. It wasn’t at all my fault. The littulin should have been more careful. Hunting was becoming really tedious, as there was nothing to kill. I desperately needed meat; I was prepared to kill, to prove to the rest of the boys that I should be chief not Ralph. All Ralph cared about was making huts, sticking to the rules and getting rescued. I knew that we wouldn’t get rescued straight away; I just wanted to have fun and make the most of our time on the island without any adults. As time passed on the island my clothes got worn and ripped but I didn’t care. I was able to make paints for my face out of berries and mud; I spread it all over my face as camouflage to help me in the forest. It was my new identity. When we went hunting we found a pig, we chased it and killed it with our spears. I felt victorious and triumphant. The flesh and blood did not concern me at all; I just wanted the meat. We marched proudly back to the beach. Ralph didn’t even care that I had got some meat; he just cared about a ship that had gone past, and hadn’t seen us. It wasn’t my fault the signal fire had gone out, we had to go and hunt. The ship probably wouldn’t have seen the fire anyway. I don’t know why but I took my anger out on Piggy and his glasses got broken. As usual Ralph stuck up for Piggy like he always did. When we were roasting the pig I knew that Ralph was jealous that he hadn’t been part of the hunt, which is why he should have let me become chief because I was more fun then he. One day while I was on the beach a something fell from the air. We all thought it was a beast; I was even fooled at first. When Ralph, some other bigguns and I went to look for the beast, I didn’t really know what creature I was looking for. I went up to the top of the mountain alone. There was a huge bulge next to a boulder; I couldn’t make out what kind of creature it was. It was extremely dark; I went back up there with Roger and Ralph. It moved. For the first time I was actually scared. But I soon forgot about it because I wasn’t really bothered. After I got off the island I never found out what it was because when the investigation team went up to the mountain there was nothing there. While we were having a meeting on the platform, I wanted another vote for a new chief. I was surprised and ashamed when they still voted for Ralph. They should have chosen me. I went off on my own to think; I wasn’t surprised though when my hunters came to look for me. My hunters would rather be in a tribe with me than Ralph. I decided I would make a tribe of my own. Everybody knew I was the strongest on the island; I would be able to provide food. If I kept everyone scared they would join my tribe. I invited Ralph to a big feast that I was having, while two of my hunters went to steal fire from them. He did not realise my plan. It was to keep my friends close but my enemies closer. All the boys came to my feast because I could provide them with food. I asked people to join my tribe, nearly everyone joined, apart from Piggy and Ralph. When Simon crawled out of the forest and into our circle I did think for a second that it was a beast. But everyone including myself got carried away beating him as if he was the beast; I just couldn’t stop hitting him with my spear. It was like my body had been taken over by evil. I didn’t mean to kill him. The next day I decided to move my tribe to Castle Rock because it was more enclosed and Ralph wouldn’t be able to invade my location. We had no way of getting fire so we plotted together to go and steal Piggy’s glasses. When I got back from hunting the next day, I found Ralph at Castle Rock, we began to argue then started to fight. My tribe took Sam and Eric hostage so that Piggy and Ralph were now on their own. Ralph was still sticking up for Piggy. He told me to give back Piggy’s glasses but there was no way that I was going to give Piggy his glasses they were now mine. Whilst Piggy was standing in the entrance protesting about his glasses, Roger released a huge boulder. It came hurtling down the cliff and smashed Piggy’s skull in two. It didn’t bother me, I was so glad he was out of the way. Now I just needed to get rid of Ralph. I threw my spear down at him but missed. He got away and ran into the forest. I wanted Ralph dead. My tribe and I went into the forest to hunt him down. We burnt out his hiding place to smoke him out. Ralph ran through the forest and across the platform, he fell to the ground. This was my chance to kill him, to show him I could do what I wanted because I was strong and powerful. But as we looked up a naval officer looked down at us and said, â€Å"Have you been having a war or something?† That is when I knew my adventure was over. I was totally astonished. All the hatred in me went away. Suddenly I didn’t feel so powerful and strong, I felt small and weak like a littulin. When the officer asked who was boss Ralph said, â€Å"I am.† I don’t know why I didn’t say anything. Maybe it was because I was scared or maybe it was because I was never a real chief. We were put onto a ship, which took us back to England. The naval officers were surprised that three people had been killed. They were asking so many questions. I kept quiet; I didn’t want the officers to know I was one of the boys that caused most of the trouble on the island. After we were rescued, the war was over for a month. I was sent back home with the rest of the boys. I found it incredibly hard trying to settle back into a civilised society. I had been back at home for only a week when there was a letter in the post informing me of an inquest into Piggy and Simon’s deaths. I found it difficult to recollect what had happened. But when I thought about it more and more I remembered everything in fine detail. I kept thinking what if they find me guilty for Simon’s death? Would they send me to prison? Throughout the space of two weeks I was taken in and out of the police station to write many statements on the killings, which took place on the island. I did not see any of the boys again until we were up in court, I was found partly guilty for Simon’s death, and I was found guilty of conspiring to kill Piggy and also I was found guilty of attempting to kill Piggy. Most of the boys blamed me for the killings but Roger was also found guilty of killing Piggy. I do not know what happened to the rest of the boys, but I do know that Ralph was let off with just community service. I am writing my memoirs from Celeron detention centre, while serving two life sentences. If I ever get out of here I will visit Ralph and show him the sufferings of solitary confinement. He was also to blame for Simon’s death, why should he be let off? I now realise that when I was on the island, camouflaging my face with paint had hidden my true identity, which led me to do many things I wouldn’t usually have done. The society we had been in on the island was very different, we were all out of control and there was no one there to stop us. I now realise that killing isn’t a game; I saw it as a game because it mitigated the brutality of what I was really doing. The only problem is, I realised it too late. I lost control of my actions and now I have to pay for them. However, I do not regret conspiring to kill Ralph because he is someone I truly hate and I always will. I should have been chief!